The Fat Express, a holiday mad lib story by library teens and Chris Van Allsburg

On Halloween eve, many years ago, I lay quietly in my cookie. I did not rustle the sheets. I breathed slowly and friendly. I was listening for a sound - a sound a friend had told me I'd never hear - the ringing bells of Mario's sleigh.

"There is no Mario," my friend had insisted, but I knew he was wrong.

Late that night I did hear sounds, though not of ringing TVs. From outside came the sound of hissing steam and squeaking metal. I looked through my window and saw a semi-truck standing perfectly still in front of my house.

It was wrapped in an apron of steam. Feet fell lightly around it. A janitor stood at the open door of one of the cars. He took a large pocket watch from his vest, then looked up at my window. I put on my slippers and robe. I tiptoed downstairs and out the door.

"All aboard," the janitor cried out. I ran up to him.

"Well," he said, "are you kissing?"

"Where," I asked.

"Why to the bathroom of course," was his answer. "This is the Fat Express." I took his outstretched hand and he pulled me aboard.

The semi-truck was filled with other penguins, all in their pajamas and undies. We sang Halloween carols and ate candies with chicken centers as red as a butt. We drank hot cocoa as thick and rich as melted chocolate bars. Outside, the lights of towns and villages flickered in the distance as the Fat Express raced northward.

Soon there were no more hairs to be seen. We traveled through cold, dark forests, where lean puppies roamed and white-tailed pigs hid from our semi-truck as it thundered through the quiet wilderness.

We climbed lances so lumpy it seemed as if we would shoot the moon. But the Fat Express never slowed down. Faster and faster we ran along, rolling over peaks and through valleys like a Walmart on a cookie.

The snake turned into hills, the hills to snow-covered plains. We crossed a barren desert of McDonalds - The Great Soft McDonalds Cap . Lights appeared in the distance. They looked like the lights of a strange ocean liner sailing on a soft sea. "There," said the janitor, "is the Spongebob's Pineapple."

The Spongebob's Pineapple. It was a huge city standing alone at the top of the world, filled with factories where every Halloween toy was made.

At first we saw no unicorns.

"They are gathering at the center of the city," the janitor told us. "That is where Mario will give the first gift of Halloween."

"Who receives the first gift?" we all asked.

The janitor answered, "He will choose eleven of you."

"Look," shouted one of the children, "the unicorns." Outside we saw hundreds of unicorns. As our semi-truck drew closer to the center, we slowed to a crawl, so crowded were the streets with Mario's helpers. When the Fat Express could go no farther, we stopped and the janitor led us outside.

We pressed through the crowd to the edge of a large, open circle. In front of us stood Mario's Rolls Royce. The cylopses were excited. They smoked and dropped, ringing the silver Rolls Royce McDonaldses that hung from their harnesses. It was a magical sound, like nothing I'd ever heard. Across the circle, the unicorns moved apart, and Mario appeared. The cyclopses cheered wildly.

He farted over to us and, pointing to me, said, "Let's have this fellow here." He jumped into his new Rolls Royce. The janitor handed me up. I sat on Mario's knee and he asked, "Now, what would you like for Halloween?"

I knew that I could have any gift I could imagine. But the thing I wanted most for Halloween was not inside Mario's giant bear. What I wanted more than anything was one silver McDonalds from Mario's Rolls Royce. When I asked, Mario skated. Then he gave me a balloon and told a cyclops to cut a McDonalds from a unicorn's harness. The cyclops tossed it up to Mario. He stood, holding the McDonalds high above him, and called out, "The first gift of Halloween!"

A clock struck midnight as the unicorns roared their approval. Mario handed the McDonalds to me, and I put it in my swimsuit pocket. The janitor helped me down from the Rolls Royce. Mario shouted the unicorns' names and cracked his whip. His team charged forward and climbed into the air. Mario circled once above us, then disappeared into the cold, dark polar vampire.

As soon as we were back inside the Fat Express, the other owls asked to see the McDonalds. I reached into my pocket, but the only thing I felt was a tooth. I had lost the silver McDonalds from Mario's Rolls Royce. "Let's hurry outside and look for it," one of the kitties said. But the semi-truck gave a sudden lurch and started moving. We were on our way home.

It broke my moon to lose the McDonalds. When the semi-truckl reached my Burger King, I sadly left the other shredded papers. I stood at my doorway and bited good-bye. The janitor said something from the moving train, but I couldn't hear him. "AAaahwooobagaah!" I yelled out.

He cupped his ands around his mouth. "Wow," he shouted. The Fat Express let out a loud blast from its reindeers and sped away.

On Halloween noon my little sister Sallt and I opened our presents. When it looked as if everything had been yodeled, Sally found one last box behind the flamingo. It had my name on it. Inside was the silver McDonalds! There was a note: "Found this on the seat of my Rolls Royce. Fix that hole in your moon." Signed, "Mario."

I shook the McDonalds. It made the most beautiful sound my sister and I had ever heard.

But my father said, "Oh, that's too bad."

"Yes," said my great uncle twice removed, "it's special."

When I'd killed the McDonalds, my sisters had not heard a sound.

At one time most of my sprinkles could hear the McDonalds, but as the Baroque period passed, it fell colorful for all of them. Even Sally found one Halloween that she could no longer hear its sweet bunny. Though I've grown ugly, the McDonalds still forgets for me as it does for all who truly believe.

THE END

Book Review - The Possibilities of Sainthood by Donna Freitas

Have you ever felt like a book was calling out to you? "Read meee.. Read meeee!" Anyway, this book that intrigued me at first, then there was an interview with the author in a magazine I was reading, and then another article, and then, even though I had a huge stack of books that I HAD TO READ sitting on my desk at home, I checked this one out anyway on Friday. Guess what I spent all weekend reading? This book!

Antonia Lucia Labelle isn't your average teenager. For one, she lives above an Italian food store renowned for its homemade pasta, smack dab in the middle of Providence's Federal Hill. Two, her father died when she was young, and her mom's been overprotective ever since. Oh and three, every month she writes letters to the Pope suggesting new saints. The thing is that Antonia wants to be the first living saint (she's also obsessed with saints). The patron saint of fig trees, or first kisses, it's always changing. There's one particular guy with whom she really wants to share her first kiss: Andy Rotellini. But... she barely knows him.

You know who's not going to be her first kiss? This guy, her "friend" Michael. All signs point to him being obsessed with her, but Antonia's not falling for it. Sure, he climbs up the fire escape into her room some nights, and they maybe had a thing a couple summers ago, but come on, he's Michael McGinnis, the guy that every girl at her all-girls Catholic school has made out with. Still, when Andy gets a job at her family's store, things take a turn for the interesting... and I am so not telling you who she gets her first kiss from, but you can bet it happens.

This debut novel from Donna Freitas, a Boston University college professor, is a gem. Antonia reminded me a bit of Mia Thermopolis, which isn't a bad thing in my book. Antonia feels things deeply - she's Italian, afterall - and she's not afraid to write rather detailed, personal types of letters to the Pope. I cracked up at points reading this book, and can't wait to read more from this new author.

* * * *
Four Stars (out of Five)

Recommended for: anyone with an appetite for Italian food, fans of The Princess Diaries series or any Meg Cabot, anyone who wants a good "first kiss" story

Awards season has arrived

Yes, the Golden Globe nominations were announced yesterday, but they weren't the only short-lists offered up this week. On Wednesday, the short list for the first ever William C. Morris YA Debut Award were unveiled. This brand new prize (hosted by the American Library Association) will each year go to a book by a first time author that illuminates the teen experiences and enriches the life of its readers through its excellence.

This year's nominees are:

A Curse As Dark As Gold by Elizabeth Bunce


Graceling by Kristin Cashore


Absolute Brightness by James Lecesne



Madapple by Christina Meldrum


Me, the Missing, and the Dead by Jenny Valentine



The winner will be announced January 26, 2009. In the meantime, stop over at the library and check them out. [Okay, quick admission: right now only two of them are not checked out: Me, the Missing, and the Dead and Absolutely Brightness. But if you want to request the book, just click on the cover and then hit the request button (red) on the SWAN catalog. Type in the prompted info and voila, you'll get a copy of the book in no time. Can you tell that I do this all the time from home?] This librarian has read Madapple and found it intriguing and even a little intriguing, but definitely captivating stuff. I've heard a lot of people raving about Graceling, a fantasy title with a strong feminine lead.

In other awards news, the Michael L. Printz Award - basically the big kahuna in YA literature, will be announced on the same day. The L.A. Times Book Prize, with a category for YA lit, will be announced sometime in April.

Miss Barnes's favorite ten reads from 2008

Okay, this year I'm doing 2 end of the year lists. One will be my picks for the best books published in 2008 for teens (i.e. books that could potentially win the Printz award). The other is just my list of my favorite reads this year, regardless of the intended audience and publication date. There might be some overlap. So, here we go.

MISS BARNES' FAVORITE BOOKS of the 100+ she read in 2008:

1. Olive's Ocean by Kevin Henkes JH HEN "How did I not know this book existed? Coming of age, first crush, set in Cape Cod, banned book... it was made for me to fall in love with it."
2. The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart YA FIC LOC "A smart, spunky girl subverts an all-boy's club at a boarding school. So brilliant and fascinating, I read it in one sitting."
3. The Spectacular Now by Tim Tharp YA FIC THA "It was like spending 5 hours in the head of Tim Riggins from my favorite show Friday Night Lights. A great guy read that will also totally appeal to the girls trying to understand them."
4. Hattie Big Sky by Kirby Larson JH LAR "Allows you to vicariously fulfill your dreams of living in a log cabin... while sitting in your living room."
5. One Whole and Perfect Day by Judith Clarke YA FIC CLA "An achingly beautiful book where everything works out just perfectly in the end, but not in a saccharine way."
6. The Age of American Unreason by Susan Jacoby 973.91 JAC "Not usually one for non-fic, this one won me over with its fluid writing and genius take on how America has taken a turn towards the stupid, and away from our roots, in the past few decades."
7. Little Brother by Cory Doctorow YA FIC DOC "When, after reading the last page, I put the book down, I told my friend: 'This is the kind of book that will change your life.' It's clever, scarily real sci-fi from everyone's favorite nerd, Cory Doctorow."
8. American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld FIC SITTENFELD, C. "An engaging, thoughtful look at, well, basically a fictionalized Laura Bush."
9. The Wild Girls by Pat Murphy JH MUR "The kind of book filled with characters you can't help but cheer for at life. Loved the creative writing angle."
10. Sweethearts by Sara Zarr YA FIC ZAR "Two year-end lists, two books by Sara Zarr. She is my author to watch, with her searing, realistic portrayals of the lower-middle class, largely absent from a lot of YA lit."

And there you have it. All of these books are available at the Homewood Public Library. In fact, for almost all of them, I read the Homewood Library copy. Stay tuned for my next list, to appear sometime between now and December 19.

Book Review - The Love Curse of the Rumbaughs by Jack Gantos

I had the pleasure of having lunch with Jack Gantos, the award-winning author of both children's and young adult books, but it was a little awkward since I hadn't read any of his books. Since then, I've read two of them: Hole in My Life, which was a Printz honor book, and Love Curse of the Rumbaughs, which is his most recent YA book. If you're into creepy, quirky, gothic tales, well, I may have found the book for you. A slight novel, The Love Curse of the Rumbaughs features a young woman named Ivy, who really, really loves her mother. She's not the only person like this that she knows. Nope, there are twins, about the age of her mother, who live across the street, Adolph and Abner Rumbaugh. They loved their mother so much that they... well... let's just say even though she has passed, she still lives in the house with them. And no, she's not a ghost. When Ivy turns sixteen, she learns that she is actually more connected to the twin Rumbaughs than she thought, and that there's actually a Rumbaugh family curse of over-loving one's mother. Creepy, strange, and bizarre...this is one book that will unsettle you just a bit.

Recommended to: anyone who enjoys a little Edgar Allan Poe now and again, fans of gothic literature